I feel old.. And sad.
I've been so scared about my (almost) soon to be 20th birthday.. I feel really anxious, I don't even feel like wanting to be awake most of the time. I guess I'll stop counting my age after turning twenty, haha.. yeah, ugh.. Just no. I usually have really crappy birthday parties because I don't know enough people. So there's usually only one or two of my best friends. I don't know what I would do if I didn't have my BFF coming over to my "parties", I feel like I'm just waiting to just fade away some day. But at the same time, I fear that the most.
I'm trying to change my outlook on life, and I'm trying to be more active but it eats a lot of my energy at the same time. AGH!? Guess I'll just have to suck it up. I wish I had the balls to start talking to some of my old friends. :D wink wink?
But I'm clad I got that out of my chest, I've been thinking about having a big party this year. Maybe a cosplay theme? Gyaru? If anyone has suggestions, I'd be happy to hear them out!
Here's some pictures from my 19th birthday, I'm feeling super nostalgic!
(WARNING I had a shitty camera back then WARNING )
These two doofuses were my only quests on my BD :D Haha. I looked so puffy, you can see that I spend a lot of time eating back then.